Walking with My Thoughts

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what is had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." -- Henry David Thoreau

I took an unintentional hiatus from my blog. My programmed reminder pops up every Thursday taunting me, asking why I haven't written a post in forever. I've had a lot on my mind, wasting creative space. 

I've been working out a lot recently. In an attempt to remain engaged I've tried different classes at the gym and taking extended walks around my neighborhood. Today, since I had the time, I decided to go hiking. I haven't been hiking in YEARS. Seriously, since I was a girl scout. I was a girl scout drop out so I'm sure I missed out on loads of hiking adventures. I discovered Patuxent River Park, which is relatively close to where I live. I wanted to walk a minimum of 7 miles and they were open basically rain or shine. 

Some wonderful human being left a walking stick at the start of the trail. I debated about taking it with me. I'm so happy I did! I avoided busting my butt on more than one occasion because of this thing. 

I walked about 9 and a half miles with only my thoughts. One of the safety rules was no headsets. I didn't want to play my music on speaker because I thought it would disrupt the animals. The deer and I still ended up giving each other multiple heart-attacks throughout the day. 

Whenever I take the time to commune with nature I end up crying. Literally, every time. I go to the beach and the moment my feet touch the ocean, I'm crying. Half a mile into the hike, I'm crying. My thoughts on this are that we come from nature and that's why it feels good to release and left go when we go back. The smell of the ocean, the crunch of the leaves under my feet, it all makes me feel free. The air is different when you're out in the woods or next to open water. Everything you breathe in is cleaner, clearer. I obsess over silliness and mundane bullshit and just being outside in my own solitude helped me re-evaluate what I'm taking in. I'm re-evaluating what I focus my energy on. 

Walking through the woods alone was refreshing. I considered every thought. Felt everyemotion (fear, anxiety, sadness). I became confused at one fork on the trail and pondered whether or not to go back. I thought, what was the point of starting if you never plan on finishing? Why waste the time? I have to face all of this and continue on. I related that to my writing and other creative works I have collecting cobwebs and dust in my mind and on my shelves. If I want to be a writer I have to push forward. I started this journey, it needs to be completed. My heart affected my art. I've faced it and now I'm ready to move forward.  

Fallen trees are great for holding your phone while you take a selfie.

I came out in the end, all smiles and ready to write. I'll go hiking again sooner than later. I will not wait another 4 months before I write another blog post. Fresh air. Fresh mind. Fresh start.